New Year’s Resolutions: More Chocolate, More Novels
Instead of pounds lost, miles run and dollars earned, I’m going to make some new resolutions this year. I’m going to float my own boat without pausing so much to look at everyone else’s. I know I’ve said this before, but, this time, I mean it. I’m going to eat more (good) chocolate and read more juicy novels. And I’m going to stop dressing like such a mom. I mean, seriously. How did some of this stuff get in my closet in the first place?
Read MoreDo you ever feel a sense of longing?
I’m sure I’m not the only mother alive who has fantasized about just chucking it all and walking away, starting a new life in a new town. Remember that Anne Tyler book (I think it’s Ladder of Years) in which a middle-aged mom actually does it. She just walks into a new town and buys herself some pretty new dresses, rents an apartment, gets herself a job and carries on a new life. I read this book before I had kids and the whole time, I’m hoping against hope that the kids and her husband never find her, that she never has to return to her old life filled with dirty socks and sarcastic remarks. Fast forward about 12 years: I’m married to my best friend, and I have three kids who treat me with respect. They put on their own shoes, buckle...
Read MoreSilent affirmations to use when you don’t feel very loving
There are moments in this life, particularly around the holiday dinner table, in which one must forgive in the moment. Moments in which one must come up with every possible way of softening, of seeing the loveliness and the light and the Christ in the person sitting across the table, even if there are no things that you can see, in the moment, as lovely or light-filled. These are the silent affirmations I have been using. Sometimes they even work. My favorite are Don Miguel Ruiz’s Four Agreements, which are so wise and helpful that I am tempted to get them tattooed on my palm — permanent crib notes for the game of life. 1. “Be impeccable with your word.” 2. “Don’t take anything personally.” 3. “Don’t make...
Read MoreYou always, always, always have a choice
There is this exercise in a book I’m reading (Your Life as Story), in which you are to write a letter to your grandchildren. The exercise is a tool to help you discover what’s important to you, to find the meaningful bits of story that weave and course through your life. I go in blindly and begin to write all at once without thinking, as that’s how I tend to do most things when I don’t have any idea where to start. This is what comes out: Dear Dearies, I’m assuming that you know all of this because your grandparents and your parents do, but I want to set a few things down in writing so you know what I think I’m 35 now – not so old, in your mind certainly, because you no doubt see me as a knobby old lady and it’s...
Read MoreNo Gnar, Just a Simple Ski
I listen to my iPod while I climb the trail on my skis. Someone is reading a philosophy book in my ear in a gravely voice to distract me from the two-mile ascent. I find that listening to something complex and provocative lessens the searing of my lungs and the incessant internal chatter that says “Dear Lord. I’m going to die.” When I get to the top of the trail, I turn off my iPod and it is quiet. It’s not just quiet. It’s silent. I stand for a moment and listen to the small and gentle sounds that I bring to this hushed place in the forest: The zipper on my pocket, the rustle of my nylon snowpants, the tinny clatter of my ski poles bonging together. It makes me feel all at once tiny and gentle but magnificent and powerful, too. The...
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